Exposed

Just when I think its over, you come back without a warning.
I swear you must have a radar.
A warning system, a red light that does not disarm until you
Throw me off balance.

Achilles heels, my kryptonite, my affliction

I'm addicted and so far in over my head.
Its a catch 22 that you've got me in.
This complicated situation characterised by utter senselessness.

We're very circumstancial,
In different circumstances I realise we're looking for different things.
Different things that lead us to different outcomes.

Constantly attempting to visualise how to make you feel
This thing that I feel, but my vision is blurred.

Yet I know I'm challenging my virtue, my sanity, and my pride every time
I let you walk back into my life.
Yet it still doesn't surpass those moments of joy.
When I'm with you I'm a brainless version of myself.
I'm lost in what I think feels like love.
Infatuation to the rest.

My mind is gone and I struggle to make sense of reality;
-In which for those few hours you're mine and I belong to you wholeheartedly.
Your every kiss fills my soul with the emotions I wish you could feel
And I simply cannot bear the thought of having to let you go-
Well it's simply more exhilarating than "we're just friends".

I want it all back.
I want the confidence to kiss you and not have you flinch in public.
I want the long lie-ins, where my head rests still on your perfectly defined chest,
Listening to the rythm of your heartbeat...
Stroking the shape of the squares that lay on your abdomen.
The moments when I'd kneel besides you doughey eyes, and you'd instantly know
My train of thoughts, in which your lips would wrestle mine so effortlessly.

So I wonder because this time well...I had nothing to do with it.
So once again I stripped myself laid it all in front you, defenseless and exposed,
Insecurities, feelings, body, mind and soul.

You keep me on my toes. I hate that shit.
You constantly keep me in suspense, I never know what to expect.
Every moment differs.
Never a dull moment. I love that shit.

I hate how you're aware of the hold you have over me,
You know that nobody does it for me like you.
And you know just how to use it to your every advantage
But it's a thin line between love and hate
And you make me so weak,
You make it so hard for me to keep my composure.

So when my heart breaks one more time I'll only have myself to blame

Exhale!

Something Untold

Lifted

She said so long Mr time waster,
She said so long Mr empty promises,
Goodbye Mr let's see where this ends
Because she got sick of it
Sick! Sick! Sick! So sick she got tired.
Sick and tired.
Kisses so fiery her lips burned everytime.
Alas, a kiss never was a promise of a future.

So she made a turn,
Made herself a promise
The promise to settle for nothing less than extraordinary.
After all who else can she rely on but, herself?
So she closed her eyes and put it to the Universe.

A gentle poke, a touch that felt so right,
Her mind at ease,
And there he stood in all his flawlessness,
A breathtaking reflection of God's love for her-true love.
Suddenly there's that extra spring in her walk,
Confidently her head is in the clouds.

She couldn't leave if she wanted to.
She'd have to think again, think twice.
Because finally she's been introduced to;
Confidence.

Yes he lifts her up
Yes he listens to her
Relaxes her every nerve
Puts her above the stars
The centre of his world.

Never would she have imagined, ever that a love so strong,
Would lift her up in this way.
Of course she could only ever say,
Yes!

So here I am
In front of this crowd, stood here;
Worth a million dollars
Draped in lace
A cape like trail, fit for royalty
Worthy of a queen.

What else matters?
In this moment?

nothing!

Dedication to the epitome of Beauty

She seems so peaceful

She stands and stares so peaceful

None could fathom the journey that led to this moment

Moment so peaceful

She moves with grace Nwentoma-kente fabric- 

Contouring her voluptious form, covered in so much colour

True definition of utter brilliance 

True definition of splendour
Epitome of beauty

The beauty that does not fade
Have you not heard?
Black simply does not crack
Black, she wears it so well,
Does it so well
The metaphysical dilemma of being black
She's mastered and conquered so well

Beyond eternal will be her legacy

Humble, she's dedicated her life to a lifetime of nurturing.
Mothering.
Clueless of the joy she diffuses
A woman so faithful, prayerful
Worthy of praise.

So she goes about her business
Ever so peaceful
She stands again, this time she admires with a great beam
That spreads accross her glorious face
With a twinkle in her eye
She stands with pride
Clothed with accomplishments of a woman, opens up her arms and
Embosoms' her four rascals.

As if they were once again in her womb to carry, protect and care for.
A moment so peaceful.

                                                                                       
                                                                                         Á maman Antoinette je t'aime,
                                                                                                                                  Mabelle xo

it all comes down to this....

If it look like a duck quack like a duck act like a duck then quack quack bxtch your mans duckin!!

Ermmm guys analyse this with me please right..
If your man changes (we all know the changes I'm talking about), he hardly ever calls anymore, the attention is lacking, when you're together he seems distant, and he acts iffy that means hes needs are being met else where or hes "duckin"(cheating) right? Coz if it looks like a duck, act like a duck and sounds like a duck then don't fool yourself boo boo he's duckin.
Us girls need to start trusting our instincts more. Because more often than not deep down we're alllllwwayyss right
Oh no no no dont think just because he takes care of you buys your expensive weave and your infamous red bottoms (ma binnu) then that means he loves your raggedy ass... or that its ok for him to play the field "as long as he comes home to me every night" nah my girl open your eyeshadow infested eyes. In the words of Ciara herself "if that boy dont love you by now he will never ever love you". I mean what happened to that "independent woman" movement or self sufficiency?
*Naahh dont get it twisted now◆ the feeling when you come home to a pair of heels waiting for you on the bed and the cutest little black dress with a note saying "Whatever you have planned cancel it ,put this on and do what you do best im picking you up at 7 x" ◆ is out of this world!!! (Im not cray cray we all love the good things in life even me *chuckles*) HOWEVER!!!
Is there not more satisfaction in paving your own way through life? Lookoing at what you have and saying "yes,I did that all by myself"?
Are the females in our generation so insecure that they must rely on men and their gifts to define their own self worth??
I guess it can only be expected in a generation where celebrities, are snapped looking like something out of Vogue magazine 24/7. Us girls can only want to live up to that. However go do it for yourself don't wait upon ANY man to take care of you.
While some get their "own" others well take others own. But come on girls not to the extent of letting him walk all over you.... and treat you like "chips" as an old friend of mine would say.
Get yourself together what example are we setting the children we are yet to have?? Dont forget for a second we carry the next generation- (if you aint finna make no babies in the future then you simply wasting away...merrr just my opinion dont shoot me over it)- of young men, we dont want to raise them to take us back to an era where women were objectified and treated as disposable goods.
Bottom line is if your instinct tells you that he is duckin else where then likelihood is, he is. Its a sad reality.
Don't hold on because of the material goods he throws your way to keep you sweet. Because all you're doing is "settling". Believe me you'd much rather have someone who showers you with gifts because they love and adore you.
And on that note, live love laugh. Peace love and all that good stuff X.

Controversial blogger...

So earlier today I stumbled across a blog post titled "why I don't sleep with white guys" hmmmmmmmm...... See now I'm not sure how I feel about this as a young black woman because if you read into the post you pick up why she feels what she feels and her reasons as to why white guys are not of her preference. Her reasons are based entirely on the fact the she lives in a predominantly what you might call a "white city". The blogger who is actually mixed race talks about the fact that she feels uncomfortable being seen as the "dark meat" that the white guys in her town want to get their teeth into. *sigh.... See personally I don't think it's all that deep. AT ALL!!!! I mean where are these white guys that view black women as an "object of desire". Now hold on UP!! I am in NO WAY in favour of men regardless of colour objectifying women in anyway, but seriously where are these men white men hiding???
Regardless of the fact that white men have never really been on my radar, I've never actually dated a white guy...no actually scratch that a white brother has NEVER let me repeat NEVER approached me because he liked what he saw. For directions definitely *chuckles*

Personal experience: right so I was on a Uni trip to Switzerland earlier this year (February to be precise, freezing HELL LITERALLY!!!!) so as students do we played some truth or dare games. Long story short my turn came and  this white guy -(who for the record I think may have had a thing for me ;) maybe he had what I like to call JUNGLE FEVER) *chuckles* (think hard you'll get it ;) )-asked me the ultimate question "mabelle have you ever slept with a white guy" (baring in mind I'm the only black girl in the group this question was actually inevitable) now I wasn't exactly shocked per say but that question did take me back a bit. Thought about it and something clicked...not enough white guys can "step up" to a black girl. I mean I'd be slightly scared too! Come on the stereotype that is put against us black girls does paint a very scary picture. I'd like to consider myself "non-stereotypical" I mean we dress how we feel right and act in ways that invite people in rather than scare them off.
Its fair to say my circle of friends doesn't include white people and thats not by choice at all. Now compare me to my sister who has friends of all colours, ow look shes happily married to a white man.
Exposing yourself to different cultures and colours does have its advantages, but personally I have found that only black people "get me" does anyone else feel this??????

See i dont mind what colour you are as long as you treat me right, put it down good and put me back in my place when im out of it.(ow please each to their own dont judge me) well on that note love peace and all that good stuff.
Live Love Laugh x